the Alcaraz-Stapletons

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

the sun always shines in plymouth..unless it rains

everyone loves a bit of lorraine..

today i accidently ate a whole quiche.

im scanning negs for the image library i am joining.

http://www.onimage.co.uk/do/onimage/

check it out, im hoping it will go well

and remember

quiche is a vital part of scanning

my new job so far.

my new boss

"how did you get back from the fish counter claire?"

"magic"

"what kind of magic?"

"like harry potter does it...."

this cheek resulted in a lecture about food hygine

customer: "whats two quarters?"

customer :

"im really good at guessing peoples star signs! can i guess yours?"

"yeah sure"

"virgo?"

no

"taurus?"

no

"oh...um, no wait i no...saggitarius?"

no

"oh wow"

"im leo"

"seriously? wow, well your not typically leo are you"

with this she walked off.

customer: "me and my wife call it the 'i hate easy jet salad', have you ever travelled by easy jet?

actual tannoy:

" could thomas get his fucking arse to checkouts!"

(the shop was shut)

customer: "i am the queen, serve me olives!"

customer: "your going to think im mental right but...can i have 2 anchovies"

my boss catches me standing still..."would you like me to get you a chair?"

time to get out of sainsburys.....